A Secret Love, A Modern Heartbreak

My new relationship isn't working out.

Years ago, I began a love affair. My husband encouraged it. In fact, he had been suggesting it for some time. He knew it would keep me happy during the day and he wanted to watch when he came home from work too.

This love affair was with my ideal boyfriend, TiVo.

He was a DirecTV Tivo, the first TiVo I'd ever had. I heard rumors that he didn't do as much as a full TiVo, but I never missed what I didn't know about. What TiVo did bring to our love affair made me very happy.

When I wanted to watch something while eating lunch, TiVo offered me a recorded Daily Show from the night before, instead of whatever was being broadcast at the time. TiVo held season passes for my favorite shows and kept them waiting for me to watch after my husband and kids had gone to bed. TiVo even let me pause my shows and not waste precious TV time on watching commercials.

Best of all, TiVo knew me. TiVo paid attention to what I watched. He listened to what I liked and didn't like. TiVo would surprise me with suggestions. He would record shows that he knew I liked, as well as similar shows that I might like. He was always surprising me.

But then I got restless. I heard about Fios, a newer, faster service. I knew Fios would replace my cable modem (Comcast and I had never got on well), but the idea of Fios TV was appealing as well. I knew Fios meant ending my love affair and trading TiVo for a Fios DVR. However, I would still be able to record shows and the new Fios DVR would play recorded shows in other rooms - something my DirecTV TiVo couldn't do.

I thought there couldn't possibly be that much difference between TiVo and a Fios DVR. My love affair could continue, just with a new, younger partner.

I was wrong.

This is no love affair. Fios doesn't know me at all. Fios doesn't care if I like a show or not. Fios doesn't bring me suggestions, he's hard to communicate with, and he barely listens when I tell him what to do. Fios sometimes lies about the shows that will be on and the descriptions he does give are thin and badly written.

Fios hasn't lived up to his promises. He said he would play shows on other TVs, but when he does the other TVs are slow to respond. They frequently become confused and the shows need to be stopped and restarted to continue. Even on his own TV, Fios is often unresponsive and spends ages thinking of answers to my requests.

It may be time to break-up. I haven't told Fios yet, but I've been visiting TiVo's website, checking out what it would take to bring a full TiVo home. I would still need to pay Fios for the TV service, but I could run it through a real TiVo and kick Fios DVR to the curb.

It would let me renew my love affair with my favorite boyfriend, my true love, TiVo.